You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
