Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize