I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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