To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
