So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
