it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
