I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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