Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
