i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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