I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
