your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
