I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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