My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
