U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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