please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
