think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
