Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
