I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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