Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
