He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
