What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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