very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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