and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
