Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
