i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
