I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize