Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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