Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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