Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When are your genitals available?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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