Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
