I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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