Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
