our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he's gonorrhea incarnate
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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