Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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