I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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