I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
