I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
