Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
