I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
