Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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