oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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