Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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