He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
