idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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