So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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