whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
