UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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