This is not my ceiling
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
