Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
