My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
