Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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