Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
