20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
