i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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