no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
