I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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